"You don’t know anyone at the party, so you don’t want to go. You don’t like cottage cheese, so you haven’t eaten it in years. This is your choice, of course, but don’t kid yourself: it’s also the flinch. Your personality is not set in stone. You may think a morning coffee is the most enjoyable thing in the world, but it’s really just a habit. Thirty days without it, and you would be fine. You think you have a soul mate, but in fact you could have had any number of spouses. You would have evolved differently, but been just as happy.
You can change what you want about yourself at any time. You see yourself as someone who can’t write or play an instrument, who gives in to temptation or makes bad decisions, but that’s really not you. It’s not ingrained. It’s not your personality. Your personality is something else, something deeper than just preferences, and these details on the surface, you can change anytime you like.
If it is useful to do so, you must abandon your identity and start again. Sometimes, it’s the only way.
Set fire to your old self. It’s not needed here. It’s too busy shopping, gossiping about others, and watching days go by and asking why you haven’t gotten as far as you’d like. This old self will die and be forgotten by all but family, and replaced by someone who makes a difference.
Your new self is not like that. Your new self is the Great Chicago Fire—overwhelming, overpowering, and destroying everything that isn’t necessary."
Julien Smith, The Flinch
(Source: quotethat, via lajoiede-rire)
"It’s okay to change your yes to a no. Yes’s aren’t permanent. They’re something we choose again and again, each and every day. Something we have the right to recall and reconsider as soon as saying yes no longer feels conducive to our wellbeing and happiness. It doesn’t matter whether you said yes to a job, a date, a relationship, sex, a favor to a friend, a social endeavor, or a vow of silence — you don’t ever have to commit to something that forces you to compromise who you are and what feels right; especially if it’s something you agreed to under pressure, intimidation, or force. Changing your yes to a no might make people angry. It might hurt their feelings, cause them to see you as a flake, and result in lost connections. But if saying no means staying true to yourself, honoring your feelings, and making self-care a priority, it’s worth it. You are worth it. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise."
Daniell Koepke (via anditslove
(Source: internal-acceptance-movement, via lajoiede-rire)